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Thursday, November 18, 2010

Paper Mario - A Plea From The Stars

Pardon, it appears I haven't wrote a post in 18 days. My bad D:

The game begins outside Mario's house. A paratroopa puts a letter in the mail box and shouts "Mail call!" as he flies away. Luigi grabs the mail and shows Mario. It's from Princess Peach. She's having a party and wants them to go. They leave for her castle, as the party has already begun. She must've sent that invitation pretty late....
While there, Mario goes off to find Peach, because she's waiting for him upstairs. Oh baby. Suddenly, rumbling! The castle begins to float up. What could be happening? Instead of just confronting Mario with a shot gun, Bowser spent (most likely) years building a castle below Peach's. It lifts up into the stars. Bowser appears and begins to fight Mario. With his trusty and stolen Star Rod, Bowser beats Mario. He shoots lightning at him and shoots him out of the window. How Mario survives is beyond me. Peach is now held captive in her room.
The logo of the game shows up and then the Prologue screen appears. "A Plea From The Stars".
In an open circle in the ass of nowhere, Mario is KOed from getting his butt whooped in front of his women by an oversized turtle. Holograms of the 7 Star Spirits (would've seen them if you stayed on the title screen so the demo playing video shows up....) appear to Mario, but he doesn't know. They "give him their power" by moving up a little and then down while outlines of stars flash over Mario. Must be some kind of ancient healing power. A little Goomba girl shows up and notices it's Mario! She gets her father and grandfather to get him over to the Toad House. One Star Spirit shows up to Mario and tells him to go to Shooting Star Summit.
Mario wakes up and asks a toad about seeing a star. The toad denies Mario and wonders if Mario is okay enough to go out. Mario goes anyway! What a bamf. A little Goomba boy in a blue hat says he's Mario's biggest fan. His sister is happy he's okay. After very little exploration, their grandfather (Goompa) is using a hammer (without hands) to fix up their veranda (deck). A Koopa Witch (Kammy Koopa; Bowser's assistant) blocks Mario's path to Toad Town. What a bitch.
Mario goes to get the aforementioned hammer to smash the blockade, but there's no deck. After floating down like a piece of paper, Mario finds Goompa and, subsequently, the hammer (and a Peach Doll). A Koopa Troopa, still in his egg, (Jr. Troopa) challenges Mario to a fight. You'll never guess who wins. Mario! After re-arriving in Goomba Village, Mario gives the girl back her Doll and Goompa gives Mario a badge. OH MAH GAWD.
Goombario (blue capped Goomba) also joins your party and stuff....

More minimal travel yields the discovery that are the Red and Blue Goombas. These guys are just plain rude. After defeating them, they run away to their King. A little more exploration (2 whole screens!) yields the Goomba King's castle. Not really a castle, more of a tiny fort with a bridge covered up to look like a castle. A vigorous battle ensues. Using the knowledge that is the whacking a tree, you can defeat Red and Blue Goomba in 1 shot! Now, to take on the King. He's a pushover. He's got 1 attack to match your 1. The difference? Your partner isn't an idiot, you have items, and POWER JUMP (adds 2 attack to a normal jump). He goes down, the bridge to Toad Town is open! There's not much to do in Toad Town now. There's an item shop, the pipe to Mario's house, a nerd who tells you almost useless information, a dojo you can't go in, and the south and east exits blocked! To the south, crates and whatnot fell over. How inconvenient. To the east, there's 4 toads with black caps and different colored spots. Noticeably darker color scheme. According to them, it's dangerous. Bastards, I've played this game a million times before.
There's a house with a spinning roof O.o. The owner is apparently out. Lies. Shooting Star Summit is to the north. Hey, wait, didn't a hologram of a star tell Mario to go there while he was sleeping? Mario must've had too many shrooms. Ahh well, he goes anyway. On top of the summit, the stars tell Mario what happened and what he has to do. Bowser jacked the Star Rod and to get it back he needs to rescue the 7 Star Spirits. They're all being held captive by enemies that get progressively harder. If Bowser just put Huff 'n' Puff in the Koopa Bros. Castle, he most likely would've succeeded.
Back in Toad Town, those bastards still won't let Mario go through. Back at the spinny roof house, Merlon gets pissed off at your knocking and comes outside, knocking Mario down. He makes a snappy line about Mario being a carpet while he's on the floor. Merlon tells Mario some long and boring story (Mario falls asleep it's so bad). Merlon goes over to the weirdo toads, and shows them to be the Koopa Bros.! They're the guys in possession of the first Star Spirit! They high-shell (oh i'm so funny) it out of there and back to their castle.
Merlon tells Mario that to get any further on his quest, he needs to meet a Koopa with a Blue Shell. Wherever could such a genetic mistake be?!
Going to the next screen shows:
Chapter 1: Storming the Koopa Bros. Fortress.

To be continued....

Comment, follow, suggest. Yadda yadda yadda.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Resident Evil 4

Time for a shooter game! Resident Evil 4 takes place in Spain after the President's daughter gets kidnapped by.....some weirdos no one knows about. Leon S. Kennedy makes his return from RE2 to star in this game.

It begins with two drivers taking Leon to...basically the ass of Spain. They make a few jokes and Leon leaves down the only road in front of him. There's a house sitting there. Looks cozy. What to do but go inside? Leon just walks into someone's house and begins asking the guy if he's seen the girl in the picture (Ashley; Presiden'ts daughter). The sort of zombie-ish guy (he's got blood on his face) says something in Spanish (I think it's "What the hell are you doing here? Get out!" and grabs the axe and prepares for battle! He subsequently is murdered. A truck comes blasting out of the forest and hits the driver's car! Oh noez! Leon is stuck! He traverses his way down a crazy Spanish people ridden path until he finds a village. There's a dead guy in a fire tied to a pole (it's one of the drivers!). The villagers are going about their business when they notice Leon! They attack him mercilessly! Find the Shotgun and blow their brains out! A guy with a chainsaw comes out (actually, two) and try to saw your head off! After some amount of time, the church bell rings and the villagers leave to pray. Leon mutters "Where'd everyone go? Bingo?" and continues exploring the village. He meets Louis (an ex Spanish policeman, apparently) and saves both their lives from a villager with an axe.

Later on, Leon fights the first boss! Del Lago! Del Lago is just a giant mutated fish. He's adorable! In some spooky dream, some people inject something into Leon! My gawd! Eventually, you meet the village leader, Bitores Mendez. He's not exactly what you'd call beautiful....I mean, I don't think anyone over 7 feet tall with a beard that's 2 feet long is pretty, but that's just me. He tries to kill Leon, but stops himself and leaves because Leon "carries the same blood". One could only imagine what that means.

Leon makes his way to inside the church! After a puzzle involving light and colors and whatnot, he saves Ashley! Hooray! But, the adventure's not over yet. There's only been 3 paragraphs! The two make their escape from the head of the cult. He's an old guy who looks like the pope, admittedly. Blah blah blah world domination blah blah blah. They use a parasite called las plagas to put the infected under mind control. Guess what the previously injected things was into Leon....Las Plagas! w00t! They've also infected Ashley! Even if they go back to America, the plagas will spread. Nice plan. Leon and Ashley get away and after fighting off hordes of villagers in a random house with Louis (who comments on Ashley's ballistics.....breasts. It makes more sense to see the cutscene.) Louis leaves for God knows what. Jack and Ashley take refuge in a castle....which belongs to another infected person: Salazar. He looks like he's 7 and like an old American Colonist. Sweet.

The castle itself is huge. It has a free Magnum, a crazy hedge maze for a key, Ada Wong, and giant bugs. Leon runs through the castle and instead of fighting villagers, there are now cultists. Radical. They're always chanting interesting things in spanish like "To live is to die". Talk about lively. Some cultists hurl giant flaming rocks at Leon, but a Sniper easily disposes of them. Ashley gets taken captive again. Ah well, less of a pain in my ass. Leon gets thrown down into the cellar/dungeon and finds himself face-to-face with some creepy plagas infested bugs. They pin Leon down and vomit acid on his face. Not quite how I want to go, that's for sure. After escaping, Leon catches up to the guys who stole Ashley and he kills them. Ashley embarks on her own little quest and her only weapons are Lanterns that you can pick up. Sweet. Interesting things happen and Leon runs from a giant stone statues coming at him! A giant bridge breaks and Leon makes the jump of faith and barely grabs onto the ledge on the other side! Up the stairs, Salazar waits for combat. He combines with this huge....bug thing. Tentacles are whipping themselves at Leon and Salazar hides himself in an area safe from harm. How does one expose him? Shoot the bugs giant eyeball. Hit it a few times and Salazar is exposed! Shoot that mofo (sniper preferred)!.

Ashley was taken away to an island and military base out at....sea? Guess so. Ada gives Leon a ride via boat to the island. The island is filled with plagas infested army members. This guys are no pushover, either. Some man machine guns, other have tasers, and one guy is just giant. Take them out, collect some spoils, and advance further. In the base, there's a pair of El Gigantes (a gigantic boss which were previously fought).Then there's....It. It is indescribable. It's like a fat of those creepy crawlies, if you will.

At the point before the Final Battle, Leon leaves Ashley behind and goes up to fight Sadler (aforementioned pope-looking guy). He transforms himself into another bug-looking thing and his body just dangles with it. There's an eyeball where his human mouth was. That things important. You should shoot at it. You could also stun him and then stab it, but whatever. At some point, Ada throws you a Rocket Launcher that could just end it. I never used it, and that's because I never actually picked it up. Oh well.

A bomb is supposed to detonate the island. Leon gets some Jetski Keys. Him and Ashley make their way way out through a cave on Jetski and Ashley starts coming on to Leon. He politely declines. They go back to the USA. The world is safe. Woohoo.

THE END! Suggestions yadda yadda yadda comments yadda yadda yadda. You know the drill.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

Woo, the either love it or hate it Zelda game! Definitely the black sheep of the series, Majora's Mask takes place in a land that's not Hyrule, but has Hyrule things all over it! (Excellent work Nintendo, just use the same sprites, they'll never notice). The story of the game is Young Link leaves Hyrule after the events of Ocarina of Time and he's in some creepy forest. A Skull Kid wearing a mask that resembles a heart with spikes protruding for the sides comes in, jacks his Ocarina and Horse, and bounces. Link goes after him and the Skull Kid uses magic to put a mask on Link that turns him into a Deku Scrub! Skull Kid leaves and leaves behind one of his two fairies.
After some exploration, Link finds out that he has three days before the Happy Mask Salesmen leaves. The Happy mask Salesmen needs the mask (Masjora's Mask, which Skull Kid is wearing). The mask grants unknown powers to the wearer, but it brings out their darkest wants. Skull Kid wants to destroy the world and, whaddaya know, he now has the power to do so. Not only does the Happy Mask Salesmen leaves in three days, but the moon will come crashing down destroying the world in three days. Talk about powerful.

Eventually, Link faces Skull Kid in a one-on-one sword battle! Actually, no he doesn't. After a cutscene, Link jacks his Ocarina back by shooting Skull Kid with a bubble. Link suddenly remembers the Song of Time! The Song of Time brings you back to the first day It just rewinds time, pretty much. Awesome. The Happy Mask Salesmen teaches Link the Song of Healing and he becomes Link again! Now, the real game begins. Link gets to either dick around and do a crap-ton of sidequests, or he can go along with the real storyline. I just went along with the storyline. Go south to go to a swamp (or east to bomb some Dodongos). At the swamp, there's some witches who will give you a tour of the swamp! Except, one of the witches got beat up by Skull Kid in the forest. Find her, and she needs something to heal her.Go back to the other witch and she gives you a Red Potion in a bottle.

That's as far as I got. The other witch won't take the Red Potion, no matter how many times I press the freaking button, Link keeps drinking it. I lock on, nothing. I go in front of her, nothing. Blah.

Oooh, another anecdote I have. The true first time I played, I had no clue what to do whatsoever. I ran out of time. There's a cutscene of the moon obliterating the world. Pretty freaking weird. Later that night, I had a dream about a news report saying that the following day, the world would end via meteor crashing into the Erath. I was skeptical. The next day came and I was on the beach and the meteor blocked out the sun and was coming right down to my location. In life, moments prior to death and what happens after my personal biggest fears. The not knowing before it happens and the fact that time has to stop for you to wonder what WILL happen. And then there's after. What's it like? No way to know, is there? Well, I was consciously thinking in my dream. I was pretty much right there when it coming in complete thought. And I thought it was real. I ran around wanting a way to be safe and then it occurred to me that no matter what, I wouldn't be safe. Death was inevitable. I accepted it and calmed down. The meteor came closer and I sat down on the beach with my family. And then I woke up, 100% relieved. After something like that, I've got a hunch that moments prior actually aren't that bad.

I'm rambling. Comment, follow, suggest. The usual. Blah blah blah.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Pokemon: HeartGold

I have a bit of anecdote from over the summer. Before I get to that, i'd like to address a feature that's exclusive to HeartGold and SoulSilver: The Pokewalker. It's this nifty little pedometer you put your Pokemon in and walk around. Nintendo's way of getting kids outside and doing some walking around. One of these comes packaged with your copy of the game.
My best friend and I used to duke it out and see who could get more "Watts" (1 Watt = 20 steps, I believe) per day. We'd bring them to school and walk home and go to the park with them. It was incredibly fun. He was in the lead, though, because he had the game prior to me and he used the Pokewalker before I did.Once I got it, it was a blast. Until...
Some day during the summer. I brought my good ol' Pokewalker onto the Boardwalk down in the Jersey Shore (I have a house there....well, actually two, but that's beside the point). I figured it wouldn't be a bad idea, get some steps in, level up some Pokemon, the works. I recall having it in my pocket when someone asked me to hold their phone and jewelry. About an hour later, I had it. I recall slightly humiliatingly showing a girl I was trying to impress. She laughed a bit. I didn't really care, I was having the time of my life. Another hour went by and we were about to leave. I reached into my pocket to discover that it was empty. I searched anywhere I could. Ran back to the bathrooms, around the rides, everywhere to no avail. I gave up hope. Some lucky little bastard is probably playing on it as we speak.....wah.
Yesterday, my friends and I were conversing about video games during my Algebra 2 class. It just so happens that my friend Anthony has HeartGold and an unused Pokewalker. He said he never planned on using it. I swooped in immediately and asked him if I could have it. And so, today, I have received another Pokewalker (instead of replacing one, which I heard costs about 20 dollars).

I have yet to boot it up with my Pokemon and i'm really hoping that previous data was saved like my Total Step Count, maps, and whatnot. I'm crossing my fingers.

In other related news, the aforementioned Bag Catching Competition is only on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. I couldn't do it yesterday.....however, today is Thursday! Huzzah!

Of course, comment, follow, whatever.
Got a game you want to me to blog about? Comment it!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Pokemon: HeartGold

Well, let's get down to business. I've also *recently* begun a playthrough of HeartGold. By that, I mean that I recently began playing HeartGold again after months of not touching it. The reason I stopped playing was losing the PokeWalker which I actually used with my friend because it was pretty much win. After I lost mine in a public area, I gave up searching and stopped playing. However, the other day there was a Wifi event to get a free Mew. Sweet.

That level 5 Mew was just the  motivation I needed to get the third badge. Once again, i'm getting much too ahead of myself. If you've played any Pokemon, you know how this game is. You start in your room with no Pokemon and it's your day to become a Pokemon Trainer. I wonder what would happen if you started the day prior? You grab a Potion from the PC and go see whatever Professor gives you a Fire, Grass, or Water starter. Personally, I prefer Fire starters. I had to restrain myself from picking Mudkip when I started playing Ruby (which is still sitting in my desk draw, unplayed after Torchic evolved into what I believe to be crap). You grab your starter and your rival takes the starter with the type that's Supereffective against yours (Fire-Water, Water-Grass, Grass-Fire). Battle them and leave.

So, the games aren't much different from there except town names, a few events, and the Pokemon (they get lamer and lamer after Generation 1 [with the exception of some of the bird Pokemon such as Taillow]). I tried getting my Quilava (1st evolution of the fire starter Cyndaquil) to mate with my Pidgeotto. Unfortunately, they would not. I thought they were pretty cute together, but whatever Pokemon (or as they're nicknamed Kiste and Pugsley, respectively).

I got the third gym badge after getting my Mew to level 20 (currently my party is all at level 22). Sweet. I traveled into the ass of the Pokemon world, completely lost and with barely a clue as to what I should've been doing. I stumbled upon a place called the National Park and dicked around fighting Trainers and catching Wild Pokemon. I talked to a Security Guard looking fellow and he said something about a Bug Catching competition. A winner wins something and they keep the Pokemon they caught.....well, everyone keeps the Pokemon they caught. You can do it once per day. Pokemon get rated on level, Current/Max HP, and what it is. A level 13 Scyther with 40/50 HP will score significantly higher than a Level 7 Caterpie with 3/50 HP (of course, level 7s and 13s generally don't have 50 HP). I first had a Level 7 Kakuna with low health. I lost. Yesterday, I had a Level 17 Caterpie with extremely low health. Needless to say, I lost. However, I shall try again today!

After that, I went into the next town (Ecruteak, I believe) and did what I had to: Go into a tower, fight the rival (did I mention his name is B Sags for Bob Sagget?), and scare away the 3 legendary dogs (Raiku, Entei, and Suicune). Fought the gym leader and won, too. Ghost type pokemon....not affected by Normal-type moves. I had a lot of those. Luckily, my Pidgeotto barely kicked the crap out of a Gengar. If it didn't have the move Roost (restores half HP) then I most likely would have lost.

Currently, i'm about to play and redo the bug challenge.
Comment, follow, suggest another game, or whatever. I'm out!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door

Woo! First post. Anyways, I've *recently* begun a playthrough  (recently meaning about two months ago) of Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. Instead of a stupid, old, boring playthrough, I started off by getting the "Item Hog" as soon as possible and running through the game to get some info on item drops.
What Item Hog does is it increases the chance of an item being dropped after battle. Badge drops are currently unknown.

I appear to be getting ahead of myself. To those of you who DON'T know what The Thousand Year Door is (i'll be abbreviating it to TTYD in posts) it's a Super Mario game. It's the sequel to Paper Mario on the Nintendo 64 and it's an RPG. Battles have timed action commands, instead of mana or magic, you use Flower Points, and instead of numbers that are OVER 9000!!! they're generally low. The boss with the highest amount of health has 200 Health. The plot is about Peach sending Mario a Treasure Map and then she gets kidnapped by NOT BOWSER! Yeah, some random chumps called the X-Nauts jack her so she can be used for something much later in the game (keep your minds out of the gutter).

Anyways, what we believe (and by "we" I mean other "researchers" for TTYD) is that Item Hog not only increases the chance of an item that's set for the field enemy to drop, but there's also a list of items that get programmed into the drops. Usually crappy items like Dried Shrooms, Honey Syrups, Fright Masks, etc.

Currently, I progressed through the first chapter (and a Dry Bones dropped another Item Hog badge!), second chapter, and third chapter. I have yet to begin the fourth (there are 8 total).
I shall get on that soon.

By the by, other games I will be writing about will be Pokemon Red/Blue/Yellow/HeartGold, Kingdom Hearts, and Legend of Zelda OoT/Majora's Mask/Wind Waker.
Any suggestions? Feel free to tell me.
Comment and whatever you want!